Pretty sure this is what going to heaven sounds like.
Pro-Era - School High
“You went to high school, but / I went to school high”
Been listening to this song a lot. I think it’s super funny and smart.
Nyck Caution is my favorite Pro Era member FWIW.
This will always be the best summer song of all time. There are no actual instruments used on this track, just sunshine, green grass, ice cream, hot sand, and white wine sangria.
Happy May Day.
There are few things that are as disgusting as my preteen flub popping out of a mesh basketball jersey. When said blubber was covered in tears, it’s a sight for sore eyes. I played basketball at the local JCC every Sunday from ages six to 13 and I cried every single time.
Over the course of my seven year career, I scored about eight points. I was a terrible basketball player. I just couldn’t relate to my teammates and at the time I blamed it on my skills, but as I got older and out of my basketball sweats, I couldn’t really relate to any boys my age at all. I liked music. Pop music actually and not sports. My wealth of pop culture knowledge and quick wit let me get by without getting bullied, but I still didn’t really have any male heroes I looked up to. When I did hang out with my few male friends, they all had a posters of Michael Jordan hanging in their rooms.
I got one too for good measure. Okay I got three – a slight overcompensation.
But where was my Michael Jordan? I found that looking up to my favorite musicians like Rivers Cuomo and my political icons (I was a queer one for sure) was way more interesting. Would a gay athlete have helped me out of the limelight and into the championships? Nah, not really but I’m still glad that Jason Collins came out of the closet today. It’s a good day for some little gay jocks and that’s a pretty cool thing.
In my ongoing quest for the perfect framework for understanding haters, I created The Disapproval Matrix**. (With a deep bow to its inspiration.) This is one way to separate haterade from productive feedback. Here’s how the quadrants break down:
Critics: These are smart people who know something about your field. They are taking a hard look at your work and are not loving it. You’ll probably want to listen to what they have to say, and make some adjustments to your work based on their thoughtful comments.
Lovers: These people are invested in you and are also giving you negative but rational feedback because they want you to improve. Listen to them, too.
Frenemies: Ooooh, this quadrant is tricky. These people really know how to hurt you, because they know you personally or know your work pretty well. But at the end of the day, their criticism is not actually about your work—it’s about you personally. And they aren’t actually interested in a productive conversation that will result in you becoming better at what you do. They just wanna undermine you. Dishonorable mention goes to The Hater Within, aka the irrational voice inside you that says you suck, which usually falls into this quadrant. Tell all of these fools to sit down and shut up.
Haters: This is your garden-variety, often anonymous troll who wants to tear down everything about you for no rational reason. Folks in this quadrant are easy to write off because they’re counterproductive and you don’t even know them. Ignore! Engaging won’t make you any better at what you do. And then rest easy, because having haters is proof your work is finding a wide audience and is sparking conversation. Own it.
The general rule of thumb? When you receive negative feedback that falls into one of the top two quadrants—from experts or people who care about you who are engaging with and rationally critiquing your work—you should probably take their comments to heart. When you receive negative feedback that falls into the bottom two quadrants, you should just let it roll off your back and just keep doin’ you. If you need to amp yourself up about it, may I suggest this #BYEHATER playlist on Spotify? You’re welcome.
** I presented The Disapproval Matrix to the fine folks at MoxieCon in Chicago yesterday, and they seemed to find it useful, so I figured I’d share with the class. It was originally inspired by a question my friend Channing Kennedy submitted to my #Realtalk column at the Columbia Journalism Review.
God I love this so much.
Jam of spring.
Finally writing something about The Hills, so I’ve been rewatching.
Snagged this gem.
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